Sunday.....last night was not as smooth as Friday night.....I changed the mask back to the canula about 11:30pm and she slept a little...she woke up about 2:30 am and after helping her back to bed (she got herself turned around and couldn't figure out how to readjust herself) I put the mask on her again....it wasn't on right so it was making a lot of whistling noise and my mom was frustrated...so I took it off again and she went back to sleep...I didn't though. I laid there thinking about the "what if's"...what if being at home doesn't work?? what if she would need 24 hour care for longer than 3-4 weeks?? she has already brought up her finances...and how much this all was going to cost...I told her that I had it worked out..she doesn't like that...I thought about how she would feel having to give up control of "her stuff". Oh well we will just have to wait and see - in the meantime....here we go.
My kids woke me at 7:30 so I was up and running....my mom wanted to sleep longer....she asked the time and went back to sleep. She did think that is was Monday and that we were going to get her hair done. About 9 my mom got up...ate a little bfast and took her meds. The phone rang and it was Virginia the home health nurse wanting to come by and see my mom this morning...YES I said...so she said she would be there about 11am...my mom said "I am tired I want to go to bed" - I didn't let her so that she could be up for the nurse. When the nurse got there she asked my mom a few questions..and my mom took a little while to answer but she got them right. I asked Virginia (in front of my mom) if she could be left alone...and Virginia said not for a while....at least 3-4 weeks - my mom had been complaining about all the people in her house. We shall see. It would be hard to have all your independence taken.
My cousin Alina has been awesome these last 2 days...she came over and took Mia to her house or the park.....she would have been so bored just hanging around. Leif, Sonia, and Shirley worked hard with me to make a schedule to keep my mom covered....thanks you all. At 3pm today my brother came over so I could get going home....Michael has a test everyday next week and he needs to go to bed early and sleep well. It is easier for me to help my mom while my kids are in school as this keeps their lives consistant. So I will be there tomorrow and am taking my mom to get her hair done and her toes polished...she should be good and tired after that.
So until tomorrow...good night.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Day 51
My mom slept ok last night....I woke up to check on her a few times...but slept ok. My kids woke me at 6:30 and my mom got up about 8:30....I think she is just used to sleeping that late...even though she may be awake and still waits until 8:30-9. Breakfast and pills and within about an hour she was already talking about a nap....Leif, Sonia and Shirley were coming over to talk about the next 2 weeks and schedule our helpers. My mom wanted to know what we would be talking about and when she went to bed about 10:30 I asked if she wanted to get up and be in the meeting she said "no". We did wake her at the end and she came out and sat and talked a little.
She still seems a little "detached" even though she participates in some of the conversation it just isn't her. It is strange to watch. She will ask for clarity when she finds herself confused. She gets really snippy with the kids and short with me. I mentioned to her today about our situation...she asked me what we were going to be talking about at our meeting and I told her that we had to organize help for the next couple of weeks. We talked about maybe looking at assisted living. I think that we will know in a couple of weeks if this is going to work. She still gets gets confused about the day whenever she sleeps and it takes a bit of convincing about the real date and what was going to happen that day.
Tonight she went to bed about 7:30pm...I tried to make her stay up but no go....so I helped her get ready (she does most of it I am just there to remind her). I put the mask on her about 8 so we shall see how long it lasts. I am realizing that I am not going to see the others who will be coming to help with my mom....so I have started lists to help....I am taking Monday off but would like to go back asap.
At this point I feel hopeful that this will work out for my mom....but also knowing that I have to stay ready to make decisions that may not be popular. For now we are trying to adjust to home. Monday she has a hair appointment and pedicure appointment and maybe a trip to the grocery store.
Take care all.
She still seems a little "detached" even though she participates in some of the conversation it just isn't her. It is strange to watch. She will ask for clarity when she finds herself confused. She gets really snippy with the kids and short with me. I mentioned to her today about our situation...she asked me what we were going to be talking about at our meeting and I told her that we had to organize help for the next couple of weeks. We talked about maybe looking at assisted living. I think that we will know in a couple of weeks if this is going to work. She still gets gets confused about the day whenever she sleeps and it takes a bit of convincing about the real date and what was going to happen that day.
Tonight she went to bed about 7:30pm...I tried to make her stay up but no go....so I helped her get ready (she does most of it I am just there to remind her). I put the mask on her about 8 so we shall see how long it lasts. I am realizing that I am not going to see the others who will be coming to help with my mom....so I have started lists to help....I am taking Monday off but would like to go back asap.
At this point I feel hopeful that this will work out for my mom....but also knowing that I have to stay ready to make decisions that may not be popular. For now we are trying to adjust to home. Monday she has a hair appointment and pedicure appointment and maybe a trip to the grocery store.
Take care all.
Day 50
Time for a homecoming....got everyone ready and the car packed. New I had 3 things to do on the way to Elk Grove......thought I could do them all in EG. When I arrived on Laguna Blvd. I realized that I had forgotten one thing...........the frickin medicine at the pharmacy by my house....OH shit!!! Had to turn around and go and get it all. I knew that my mom was going to be wondering where I was as I had told her 11am so I called Windsor and told them what was happening and to tell her I wouldn't be there.
Erika was at moms house when we arrived, she was going to watch my kids while I fetched Lis. Shirley let her car (since it would be easier to get into then my van). I arrived at Windsor about 12 with See's candy in hand to say thank you to the staff. The speech therapist had run off a bunch of papers so my mom could practice her cognition. My mom was sleeping on her bed and asked where I had been - she had been ready and waiting since 9am. After everyone came to give us papers and say good bye we were off.
We started home, it was kind of quiet in the car I think the nerves were setting in on both of us. My mom had said that she was anxious about going home. We wheeled my mom in the wheelchair and she sat right down on her stool. Michael got her some ice water and she just hung out. Shirley popped in and my mom was excited to see her and Ann and Ray came by too. My mom was fading and wanted to lay down so she did about 3pm...I told her that she would get about 1.5 hours to sleep so she could sleep at night. I made dinner and we woke her about 4:50 although she didn't want to get up. She ate pretty good, I would say close to her average before she got sick...she was always a small eater. Soia arrived about 5'ish, ate a little dinner and sat and talked with us.
She took all her pills and was off to bed about 7:45 she brushed her teeth and I helped her get into bed...she wanted to read a little befor the mask got on so I waited until I saw her fade and then I put it on...I decided to try the nose only mask because she wasn't wearing the other one at all and I figured that if she wore it longer then that was better than nothing. She kept it on, mostly, until 11:30 (she had taken it off a few times and I put it back....then I finally just put the oxygen back on and went to sleep...I checked her a couple of times and she still had it in...I found myself listening for her breathing....like having a newborn again. It is now 7:15am and she is still slepping although she has been up to use the restroom.
My mom is a bit confused and unsure of things....if there is chatter she wants to know what it is about. I had told her that she will not be able to be alone for awhile...I am interested to see what happens...she seems off but then it clicks...she seems unaware of the going ons around her but we shall see if that changes. I was really thinking that she was going to need to go into an assisted living place,,,,only time will tell.
Erika was at moms house when we arrived, she was going to watch my kids while I fetched Lis. Shirley let her car (since it would be easier to get into then my van). I arrived at Windsor about 12 with See's candy in hand to say thank you to the staff. The speech therapist had run off a bunch of papers so my mom could practice her cognition. My mom was sleeping on her bed and asked where I had been - she had been ready and waiting since 9am. After everyone came to give us papers and say good bye we were off.
We started home, it was kind of quiet in the car I think the nerves were setting in on both of us. My mom had said that she was anxious about going home. We wheeled my mom in the wheelchair and she sat right down on her stool. Michael got her some ice water and she just hung out. Shirley popped in and my mom was excited to see her and Ann and Ray came by too. My mom was fading and wanted to lay down so she did about 3pm...I told her that she would get about 1.5 hours to sleep so she could sleep at night. I made dinner and we woke her about 4:50 although she didn't want to get up. She ate pretty good, I would say close to her average before she got sick...she was always a small eater. Soia arrived about 5'ish, ate a little dinner and sat and talked with us.
She took all her pills and was off to bed about 7:45 she brushed her teeth and I helped her get into bed...she wanted to read a little befor the mask got on so I waited until I saw her fade and then I put it on...I decided to try the nose only mask because she wasn't wearing the other one at all and I figured that if she wore it longer then that was better than nothing. She kept it on, mostly, until 11:30 (she had taken it off a few times and I put it back....then I finally just put the oxygen back on and went to sleep...I checked her a couple of times and she still had it in...I found myself listening for her breathing....like having a newborn again. It is now 7:15am and she is still slepping although she has been up to use the restroom.
My mom is a bit confused and unsure of things....if there is chatter she wants to know what it is about. I had told her that she will not be able to be alone for awhile...I am interested to see what happens...she seems off but then it clicks...she seems unaware of the going ons around her but we shall see if that changes. I was really thinking that she was going to need to go into an assisted living place,,,,only time will tell.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Day 49
Today I met with the social service coordinator at Kaiser to discuss options in case my mom has a hard time being home. I needed to know what would happen if she couldn't be home alone. After yesterday at Windsor I really felt overwhelmed with the care they said my mom would need BUT I realized that they only know my mom there and that they haven't seen her at home, in her own stuff. I think that within a few weeks we will see a change in my mom and that time will tell what will happen next...at this point it is one day at a time.
I got to Windsor about 10 and my mom was working with Jen (speech and cognitive therapist) my mom lifted her head from her paper and said hi and then went back to her paper. The paper was a list of questions that my mom had to think about and answer like "what is the name of you dr.?" and "what do you do first when you wake up in the morning?" I noticed that her writing had changed again and she was having a hard time. That is probably why I have not seen her doing and crossword puzzles lately. Jen said that my mom has a hard time asking for things so she really wants my mom to talk to people and say what she needs.
There were a lot of student nurses there today and their instructor. One student nurse came in to give my mom her meds....she was so nervous that she was shaking....my mom touched her hand and told her not to be nervous....and then proceeded to "instruct" her own how to get someone to take their meds....it was funny. The student relaxed and thanked us for letting her help....my mom again told her that she had done a good job. It was cute. After Jen left she asked me to play a card game with my mom where she had to sequence the pictures....she did them fine.
About 11 I left to go to my moms house for the oxygen training.....Shirley and Marcelita were there too so we could have more than one set of ears hearing this. Seems easy enough...we shall see.
Now it is on to finding a right person to hang out with my mom during the day....right now she is not to be alone..I will be there this weekend with my kids....an adventure for sure at least the noise of the kids will insure that my mom won't be sleeping during the day...hey thats one way to keep her up
I will let you know how it all goes....wish me luck
I got to Windsor about 10 and my mom was working with Jen (speech and cognitive therapist) my mom lifted her head from her paper and said hi and then went back to her paper. The paper was a list of questions that my mom had to think about and answer like "what is the name of you dr.?" and "what do you do first when you wake up in the morning?" I noticed that her writing had changed again and she was having a hard time. That is probably why I have not seen her doing and crossword puzzles lately. Jen said that my mom has a hard time asking for things so she really wants my mom to talk to people and say what she needs.
There were a lot of student nurses there today and their instructor. One student nurse came in to give my mom her meds....she was so nervous that she was shaking....my mom touched her hand and told her not to be nervous....and then proceeded to "instruct" her own how to get someone to take their meds....it was funny. The student relaxed and thanked us for letting her help....my mom again told her that she had done a good job. It was cute. After Jen left she asked me to play a card game with my mom where she had to sequence the pictures....she did them fine.
About 11 I left to go to my moms house for the oxygen training.....Shirley and Marcelita were there too so we could have more than one set of ears hearing this. Seems easy enough...we shall see.
Now it is on to finding a right person to hang out with my mom during the day....right now she is not to be alone..I will be there this weekend with my kids....an adventure for sure at least the noise of the kids will insure that my mom won't be sleeping during the day...hey thats one way to keep her up
I will let you know how it all goes....wish me luck
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Day 48
Today was a day of "care training" where I was taught how to move my mom around. The therapist met me in my mom's room and asked her permission to talk frankly about my mom...my mom said "sure". The therapist said that my mom is dealing with confusion and needs some cues to sequens whatever she is doing. That she would not be able to left alone at home as she isn't always safe, that she gets up and starts walking without her walker and when using the walker she tends to stay far away from it which could lead to a fall. Someone would have to sleep in the same room as her to make sure she would know where to go if she needed to use the restrom and that we would have to be right there while she showered - prompting her to get the job done and then helping her transition out of the shower and help her dress. I was mentally exhausted after this session and a bit scared. She seemed a bit "off" today...not as strong as usual. She has lost another 9 pounds which makes her weight loss a total of 49lbs. The main nurse called me today about that and said that they were upping her power shake because of it. I asked about the new medication they started that should increase her appetite...they said it doesn't take effect for about 3 weeks but that her appetite would totally change. I sure hope so as I know that the weight loss and lack of eating are making her tired and weak...a bad combination when she has so much to do to get better.
We transferred my mom into my car...this turned out to be frustrating for my mom as she was confused by the instruction but she figured it out and got in and then out again. She thought she was going home right then but I reminded her that there were 2 more days left. Aleisha, the PT brought us back in and we went into the dining room where Ann and Ray were sitting (they had been there during the training). I asked to talk to Aleisha outside as I was feeling totally overwhelmed with the thought of all that my mom would need at home. How was this going to go? I can't be there 24/7 and I know that she doesn't want anyone there 24/7 but right now it doesn't seem that we have a choice. I need a bit of normalcy for my kids (and me for that matter) so I knew that I would have to hire some help as well as our friends help....it takes a village to care for Lis.
I think about all that has to occur before she comes home....groceries, meals made (I am not a cook), showers, appointments about long-term solutions and trying to get all things she needs. Learning how to use the oxygen tanks...finding places for myself and 3 kids to sleep at her house....packing for the 4 of us. Making sure my mom understands the importance of her own safety....talking to the med-alert people to get "the button" for her. Interviewing help, developing a plan, a schedule, a staff flow-chart....man....there is a lot. In the blink of an eye many lives have been changed forever...I am tired.
But as always the stuff will get done, we will find the right people, the village will be assembled. I am off for the next 2 days...to mobilize the troops and get the stuff in order. I will keep you posted. Good night all
We transferred my mom into my car...this turned out to be frustrating for my mom as she was confused by the instruction but she figured it out and got in and then out again. She thought she was going home right then but I reminded her that there were 2 more days left. Aleisha, the PT brought us back in and we went into the dining room where Ann and Ray were sitting (they had been there during the training). I asked to talk to Aleisha outside as I was feeling totally overwhelmed with the thought of all that my mom would need at home. How was this going to go? I can't be there 24/7 and I know that she doesn't want anyone there 24/7 but right now it doesn't seem that we have a choice. I need a bit of normalcy for my kids (and me for that matter) so I knew that I would have to hire some help as well as our friends help....it takes a village to care for Lis.
I think about all that has to occur before she comes home....groceries, meals made (I am not a cook), showers, appointments about long-term solutions and trying to get all things she needs. Learning how to use the oxygen tanks...finding places for myself and 3 kids to sleep at her house....packing for the 4 of us. Making sure my mom understands the importance of her own safety....talking to the med-alert people to get "the button" for her. Interviewing help, developing a plan, a schedule, a staff flow-chart....man....there is a lot. In the blink of an eye many lives have been changed forever...I am tired.
But as always the stuff will get done, we will find the right people, the village will be assembled. I am off for the next 2 days...to mobilize the troops and get the stuff in order. I will keep you posted. Good night all
Day 47 part 2
I had spoken with the nurse in the morning and she said my mom was the same....not wanting to wear the mask but eating a bit better. I arrived about 1:30pm and Jen (speech therapist) stopped me to tell me that she had taken my mom into the dining room for lunch...not that my mom was thrilled about it. My mom ate her lunch for a little while and then when she was done got a bit agitated and frustrated because she felt as though everyone had left her....I told Jen that this happened another day as well. Jen told my mom that if she ever feels like that then she has to talk to a staff person and ask for help...and tell someone what she needs - to go back to her room.
When I saw my mom the first thing she said was "everyone left me". Then she told me that she was going to be going home on Friday...really?? I left the room to find Josephil....she confirmed what my mom said that her discharged day would be Friday. Oh man...I knew it was coming...but is my mom ready? I go up and down...one day I think that this is going to work fine...then the next day I am thinking oh shit...this isn't going to work. We will only know when we try. My mom deserves a chance to try. She is just going to need a lot of help in the beginning for sure. Our insurance system is so jacked up...Josephil told me that she thinks my mom would do well in a care home or assisted living type place...but who can afford those places...they average $3500 a month. So why are they releasing her? So for now I will be trying to piece together her care between a lot of different people and am looking for a care/companion at home. I have spoken to someone already....and will have her come over this weekend to meet my mom and see what it is all about. I know that this is not a job I can do right now.....I have 3 young kids (who need a halfway normal life-I really want to try and keep, at least, their afternoon and evenings "normal") and I am almost done with my school year, it ends June 1 and I just want to finish that out. I also believe that it would not be a good situation for me to be her "care person" and having someone who has done this before will be the best. Again we shall see. My mom admitted that she is nervous about going home...
Until later...have a good Wednesday
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Day 47 part 1
Good Morning....I promise to write the blog as soon as I can....I am going to bed.
OK day for Lis today. More details tomorrow.
OK day for Lis today. More details tomorrow.
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