Day 17

I arrived about 10:30 am to find my mom lying in bed and the blinds still drawn BUT she had "real" clothes on.  Also, 2 friends (Sheryl and Cathy) were there with a beautiful bouquet of roses.  I came with yoghurt, vitamins, vitamin water, dry shampoo and good lotion.  I needed my mom in a chair to do this shampoo so I asked for help getting her into the wheelchair.  So I rang the call button and waited and waited - I thought if she had to go to the bathroom she would have wet her pants...it takes them a long time to come in - urgggg - finally I went out there and asked for help.  I have no frame of reference as to what this staff should be doing...maybe this is normal that one would have to wait and wait.  Each step has been a learning process for me...leaving ICU (where her needs were met practically before she needed it) to 4th floor (the needs were met a little slower) to here.....is this normal and the way it is with our elderly and sick???

So I got her hair shampoo with this weird mousse type stuff that you just put in and leave for a few minutes and then comb it out - it looked good if i do say so myself.  I helped her wash her face and gave her some good lotion - my mom has very sensitive skin so everything makes her break out.  Hopefully the stuff we used today didn't do that to her.  My cousin Elizabeth and her family arrived about then and so we took my mom for a ride around and got her outside in the nice sunshine.

We said goodbye to Elizabeth and went back to the room to meet Shirley and the physical therapist and my mom was off to therapy.

I am noticing that she is really short of breath, a reason for all the extreme tiredness, she talks about it a lot too.  I tried to make her see that when she sits up she breathes better..hopefully she will remember that.  My mom seems oddly confused to me....sometimes very clear but other times a tad off....is this the "sundowner" syndrome I have heard about???  How can I help her with clarity??  Is this the thing the surgeon talked about that would last a few weeks??  Does she have something else going on??   I am going to be there early tomorrow so that I can get ahold of the doctor to find all this out.

I am trying to balance me with all of this....I feel bad when I am not there and guilty when I am not thinking about my mom for a minute.  I know my mom has the potential for beating all of this and getting better and getting home now she just needs to know it.  I think my mom is a little down and feeling like it is impossible to get back to the way she was....it is going to be a hell of a lot of work but she has to fight.  I keep thinking that if only this pneumonia would go away that would increase her appetite and her energy and hopefully her oxygen......we shall see.

Visiting is good....she needs the distraction - it will make the day go by faster and make it so she doesn't sleep all day.  I appreciate it.  Thanks again.

Day 16

I did a lot of research last night about pneumonia and talked to my friend who is a nurse....didn't want this to completely derail my mom....I felt a bit better as I read and talked but still worried.  I decided that I would make sure that my mom got some probiotics and vitamin D3 in her to keep her good bacteria in good shape.  So today I showed up with my vitamins in hand and a blueberry Activia yoghurt...I put the vitamins in the yoghurt and had her eat...she ate the whole container.

I arrived today with all 3 kids in tow.  She had been asking when she would get to see the kids and that she wanted to see them so today was the day.  When we got there she was in the hall with the physical therapist...she had walked from her door to the other....knuckle punch...way to go.  So they kept doing their exercises and we delivered See's Candy to the nurse's station and the therapy room.  She had the same look as yesterday...bright eyed and breathing better...but she did complain of shortness of breath - I was told that she could get a breathing treatment she just had to ask.

Lunch arrived and it was fried fish, carrots and packed rice I gave her one carrot and she said "that's it no more" so I left her mango juice and fruit pieces - telling her again that she needed to try to eat.  At the same time I know that being sick with pneumonia makes you lose your appetite and makes you very tired.  So ok hopefully this too will get better after this bout is over.

I had also brought her her down comforter and she was so excited to get back in bed and use cuddle up with her familiar blanket.  After lunch they were getting ready to put her back to bed.  I saw my mom standing better than yesterday, on her own even with her very swollen feet.  Way to go mom

I came back about 3 hours later to find my mom tucked in and watching tv.  She asked them to get her up and sit her in a chair so they did....good up for a 3rd time today.....this time she lasted about 2.5 hours.  Every time she is up is better for her - she even ate a "good" dinner the nurse said.  I reminded them to make sure she had her call button within reach....second day of her not being able to reach it.

Better day...Happy weekend all

Day 15

Today I arrived to find my mom in a dark room asleep...misc. food and drinks on her tray too far away for her to get to.  I looked for her call button and it was hanging down in a place she would not be able to get to.  Ugh...I was just feeling better about this place.  I asked her how she was and she kind of rolled her eyes and said "fine no so uncomfortable."  I asked if she had physical therapy and she said no....OK now I am frustrated....why not? I think, so I go and ask.  Turns out that she was sleeping and so they left her with the intent on coming back later.  They were just getting ready to do a chest xray so a guy came and did it in her room.  After that she said that her chest was hurting..that got those nurses in there...they did her vitals and they were all good....but they kept asking her questions.

Before long it was lunch and my mom said (with much feeling) "I don't want it"...I tell her that she needs the food to get stronger..she rolls her eyes again and tells me that she is just so tired and she will promise that she will start all the hard work on Monday and that I should quit bothering her.  I couldn't help but feel so frustrated, mad and sad....I wanted her to get better more than she wanted to get better, I thought.  So I left to find a grocery store in walking distance so that I could get her the yoghurt she liked..Activia Blueberry....all the grocery stores I knew of had closed their doors....man now what?? off to Walgreens..they had strawberry - that would have to do.

When I return back the electricity was out - they were testing the generator (???? whatever that is).  I gave my mom the yoghurt and she ate the whole thing.......yeah finally she ate something.  Suddenly in walks the physical therapist and my mom says how about tomorrow...luckily the guy says "naaaaa come on....so they get her into a wheel chair and suddenly she breathes better and looks clearer.  I watched part of the session and my mom walked with a walker for about 6 steps and does stretches with an exercise band...I didn't watch the whole session as I was sent to investigate whether or not there was a beauty parlor there....there is...my mom and her roommate were happy to hear that.  After therapy they wanted her to stay sitting up for awhile so I took her for a ride to check ou the place she was staying...we even went outside for 2 minutes but the air was cold so we went in again.  After awhile my mom got tucked in and she was ready for a nap so I left, feeling better and very happy that she was seeing how much better she felt being up...hopefully tomorrow it won't be so hard to get her up.  I was energized.

About 5pm my phone rang and it was Eskaton.....I thought "what's wrong?" the nurse said nothing.... but that the xray showed that my mom has pneumonia - shit!!!  Now what??  The Eskaton doctor has ordered antibiotics and I will be there with vitamin D3 and probiotics.  I think that it is a good thing that she does not yet have a temperature....good luck mom...you can beat this too

Sonia and Leif were there this evening and my mom was sitting up and eating a little food..they worked on a danish song and Leif harassed my mom...sounds normal to me

2 Week mark

7pm two weeks ago is where it all started.  It is hard to believe that it has been so long but at the same time it feels like just yesterday.  My mom seems stronger then yesterday, standing more (with support), scooting and moving herself on her bed.  She still is not eating very much but she needs to in order to get stronger.  I know she is worried about that which goes in must come out.  I did bring her a mocha milkshake from Baskin and Robbins and she drank about half, not sure how to convince of the food need.  I am waiting for her nurse to call me so I can talk to them about that among other things.

After visiting today I did feel a bit better about the place.  My mom says that everyone is very nice to her but I think she forgets about her call button and just yells out.  She gets a bit upside down on her time of day... I know the doctor told me that she would be a little "off" for awhile but sometimes it seems like she is getting pain meds although I think it is more related to when she gets really tired then she can not think straight.

Today my mom got evaluated by physical therapy and occupational therapy...she will be getting therapies 2x a day 7 days a week.  I spoke with the therapy office there at Eskaton and she told me that we visit and she isn't in her room we will probably find her in the therapy room and we are welcome to be in there with her.  The plan is to do one session in the am and one in the pm.  Maybe working out a little will make her more hungry.  I talked to them about "making her" participate in her therapies if she ever says "no" they said that they can not make her go that it is her "right to refusal" - I thought uh-oh and then I asked if they would call us and they said yes...that will be something I ask them each day.  My mom still gets the days mixed up thinking that it is the next day every time she sleeps.

The doctor came in just before I left this afternoon to do her first assessment of my mom.  My mom was so tired that she was dozing off but the doctor just kept talking right to her - nice I thought but funny.  Her feet are really swollen and a little blue area on one foot....the dr.  said that it is normal because of all the fluids she has received - that this happens even weeks after surgery as well as bruising from the amount of blood she got.  And her breathing...she assured me that she is checked often and her oxygen is adjusted as needed.  The oxygen tank is so big...it looks like a missel and my mom catches a glimpse of it and thinks someone is standing there.  As I finish this I am waiting for her nurse to call.

It is back to work for me tomorrow...thank goodness I have all next week off for spring break.  Intrigued to see what tomorrow brings.

Day 13 part 2

Ok so we moved my mom to Eskaton Greenhaven 455 Florin Rd. for rehabilitation.  She needs to get her stamina up and strength back.  I know visiting hours are between 7am-7pm...she is in the B wing room 17 bed A..she is sharing a room.  I am hoping now that she can be helped to a wheelchair and taken outside when we are there....they said that there would be a wheelchair assigned to her.  Deborah (my friend who is an awesome nurse) told me that the sunshine is the best way to get her vitamin D and help her internal clock re-set itself so she can get back to good sleep at night and working during the day.

I would like to see her appetite increase now...she is not eating much but I hope that they make better food so that she will start eating better.  She is not on any restrictions so maybe it is time for a protein shake to get her started.

While I was there I felt a little frustrated but had to keep reminding myself that she had just arrived and the staff had to get acquainted with her and she needed to be assessed before they could truly do the right thing by her.  I hope that when she needs something they help her help herself, I don't think that is too much to ask.

I see her getting a bit stronger each day...I witnessed her scooting herself along her bed and Sonia told me that she sat at the side of her bed unassisted.  I realize that I sometimes have high expectations of the staff and know that, much like teachers, they are caring for and protecting someone else's "precious cargo" and that they work for shit money BUT also, just like teachers, it is their duty to do their best job for that "precious cargo".  I also know that bribery can be a "beautiful" thing.....See's Candy here I come.....BECAUSE I fully expect that my stubborn mother will get back to the feisty woman she was before....and she deserves their time and attention and a little ass-kicking to get there.

Thanks again for all your well wishes and cards....I will take more over there today and decorate her room.

Day 13

So I know a lot of you read this faithfully in the mornings so I wanted to write to say that today was a very busy and full day....but my bed is calling me so I will write more details tomorrow.  Everything is alright and my mom was asleep when I checked on her at 8:15pm.  Thanks all.

Day 12

Today my mom had a few visitors...nice.  When I arrived she was sitting up in bed trying to eat her yummy breakfast...the food is a bit drab but they really do try to make the patient happy.  Prune juice has found its way to every meal tray and prune juice is not my mom's friend...the first day she thought it was coffee and took a mouthful and promptly spit it out...she has told the nurses and doctor that prune juice can be taken out of her diet...yuk.  She seems to be leery of stuff they bring as she had been looking forward to a milkshake and she got a soy based formula type thing...nasty she said - so today when they brought ice cream she said no way...it's soy, I assured that is was "real" so she ate some..and some yoghurt and some fruit otherwise she still doesn't feel super hungry.

She still is getting her days confused but after talking to the doctor that is just a side effect of being in the hospital and he also said a bit of it is from the surgery too.  He said that mentally she wouldn't completely feel like herself for a few...there was a name for the syndrome...but it escapes me right now.  Her doctor did come in and check on her and talk about moving.  He is "watching" her 2 smaller incisions because that still show signs of infection so as long as she doesn't spike a fever and her white blood cell count continues to decline then she will move tomorrow.  It seems to be a "hurry up and wait" situation...trying to be patient.  I will post the place where she will be as soon as I have the exact place.

The cards you have been sending are decorating her walls and she reads all of them.  She always asks "how does so and so know?" because they care about you that is how....she really likes them.

She is still very tired especially after a session with the physical therapist.  Today I watch her session and Dan is so good with her....he doesn't take her stuff...when she sat down and said "I'm done" he said "ok for a minute" and after that minute she was up again.  Today she stood quite well supporting herself with one hand on a cane and Dan held her under the arm...he did say that a couple of times she "did it all herself".  Today's task was to march in place...she did it for a little while and he pushed her a good bit...then she plopped back into the chair and said "ok that's it"....he said "well you plopped down and that is not good sitting so we have to do it again" she said "just once" he said "well until you get it right".  I found myself laughing many times because of the look on her face.  We talked afterwards and she told me that I can not imagine how hard it is....and I that I could imagine and I know it is hard....but she is going to have to go through some hard times to get to the ultimate goal.  I am hoping that she gets new inspiration when she moves and I hope that they don't just let her sit around, that they push her too.  We have been assured that there are many therapists there and that she should get a lot of pushing.

I know my mom can do this she just has to feel better to really get motivated.  I believe that if she could eat some more protein and good food that her stamina will increase....it will come.